just here

Something is missing. I'm treading water. Eventually my arms, my legs, my mind is going to get tired and then what happens? I sink. That's what happens. Now any rational person would tell me, well, you have free will, just swim over to the edge and get out. Swimming isn't all it's cracked up to be anyways. But I like the water. It's a refreshing change from standing out in the sweltering heat while I watch everyone else enjoying the water. But I know i'm going to sink. I truly do. I'm a lot stronger of a swimmer now, I know different techniques so that I don't exert all of my energy at once, kicking and paddling, freaking out that I need my head a certain amount above the water. But with all of this knowledge, all I'm really doing is prolonging the inevitable. I will eventually sink. So...here I am. Treading water. It's so sad. So very sad.